Dating Violence is the abuse of one partner in a dating relationship by the other partner. Dating violence can take many forms. Abusive behavior can include harmful words or actions. In short, any act by one partner designed to hurt or control another is abuse. Women are far more likely to be victims of dating violence, but men do sometimes experience abuse in a relationship. Get Help

Many Faces of Dating Violence

Emotional Abuse harms a person’s self-esteem or causes shame. Examples include repeated lies and broken promises, withholding affection, extreme jealousy that keeps the partner away from friends or other interests, insults and put-downs, threats against a person’s safety, and controlling a person’s every move such as how to dress, what to eat, where to go, etc. Get Help

Physical Abuse causes physical pain or injury. Examples include punching, kicking or slapping, shaking, pushing, or grabbing hard enough to cause discomfort, attacking with a knife, gun or other weapon, any physical act that is unwanted or hurtful – even tickling or hugging, if it is unwanted. Get Help

Sexual Abuse is any kind of unwanted sexual advance or contact. It can include everything from unwelcome sexual comments to kissing to intercourse. Forces sexual intercourse between two people who know each other is called “date rape”. Get Help

Common Myths About Relationships

Myth: Women like guys who take charge on a date. Some women may like men who are strong and confident. But no one likes to be controlled by another person.

Myth: When a date says “no”, she doesn’t really mean “no”. It’s always important to take people at their word. If a woman says “no”, believe her!

Myth: If I just try a little harder, he’ll treat me better. Hitting or other abuse is NEVER the fault of the person who is mistreated! The abuser – not the victim – needs to change his or her behavior.

Myth: I bought her dinner – she owes me sex! Your date might owe you her thanks for a nice evening, but that’s all. In a healthy relationship, both people are equal. Neither person owes the other anything.

Myth: If I told people that he hits me, they’d probably think it was my fault. It’s common for abusers to tell their victims that the victims are to blame. In turn, the victims think people will hold them responsible for the trouble. Victims are NEVER to blame. And by breaking the silence, they are likely to find the help they need.

Myth: I don’t care if he treats me badly – without my boyfriend, I’m nothing. Sometimes it may feel like an unhealthy relationship is better than none at all. But your feelings and needs are important. Treating one another with respect is the only way to achieve the happiness that healthy relationships can offer.

Dating Can Help You...

Learn about yourself – dating gives you a chance to examine who you are, who you want to be, and how you want others to see you. You can also learn about building trust, respect, and affection.

Learn about others – dating helps you find out what kind of person you want to spend time with. You learn about the qualities you admire and those that matter less.

In dating relationships, both partners feel good about themselves and the relationship. They feel free to question each other and explore problems. They also accept that even healthy relationships don’t always work out.

Dating Responsibilities:

Respect your partner’s feelings. Treat your partner as you’d like to be treated – with respect and courtesy.

Make your own feeling clear. It may seem easier at times to go along with what your partners wants – even if you don’t feel the same way. But you can’t have a healthy relationship with a partner who doesn’t respect – or know – what you really think.