Some secrets are okay, like not telling someone what you bought them for Christmas. This is a good surprise. In the end, everyone knows what it is and it makes them happy.

Secrets that make us feel sad, confused, and uncomfortable are hard to talk about. Many times these secrets are about someone who forces, threatens, or promises you something if you’ll undress, let them touch your private parts, or if you’ll touch their private parts. This is called sexual abuse. Sexual abuse also includes someone taking pictures of you without your clothes on or when someone shows you their own private parts. Sexual abuse happens to boys and girls of all ages and from all types of families. It is against the law.

Kids Need To Know

Who Sexually Abuses Children? Usually it’s not the dirty old man who is crazy or weird like you see on television. Most often it is someone we know and sometimes it is someone we love and trust. It may be a stranger. Abusers are often people we least expect to hurt children.

Why Don’t Children Tell? Because you often know the abuser, you trust that he or she won’t do anything that would hurt you. So, you go along with what they want you to do. Many times they will give you gifts or take you places so that you will do what they want you to do. He or she may say things like:

“All families do this.”
“I’ll do it to your sister if you don’t cooperate with me.”
“No one will believe you if you tell.”
“It’s your fault for doing this.”
“No one will love you anymore if they know what you’ve done.”
“If you tell anyone, the police will take you somewhere else to live.”

How Do Children Feel If They’ve Been Sexually Abused? Each person who has been sexually abused feels different. Some common feelings might include fear, sadness, confusion, or anger. Sexual abuse can be very confusing because the touch and the attention from the other person can also feel good. It is normal for some touches that occur during the abuse to feel good so there is no need to feel guilty.

Some abused children feel that others can tell they have been abused just by looking at them. This is not true. You look the same as others your age who have not been abused.

Sometimes, if someone was sexually abused by a person of the same sex, that person feels that they must be homosexual. This simply is not true.

It Is Never Your Fault If You Are Sexually Abused

There is never anything wrong with you or different about you that made the other person chose to sexually abuse you. You are not to blame for what happened. It is not your fault, even if:

• You didn’t tell anyone right away
• You didn’t say no or try to fight back
• The touch felt good at times
• You like the person who abused you

How Do You Get The Abuse to Stop?

Tell, and keep telling until someone listens, believes you, and helps you. The only way to stop the abuse is to tell someone and to keep telling until someone listens and helps you. There are no guarantees that this will stop the abuse, but it is your best chance to get it to stop.

Who Should You Tell? It takes courage to ask for help. Children rarely lie about this. So find someone who will believe you and help you. Some people you may talk to include teachers, doctors, nurses, relatives, police, neighbors, parents – or someone else that you trust.

To talk to someone who will believe you, call 828-692-3931.